Dear Friends,
Thank you so much for your kind words and support. I was watching the Princess Diaries and Mia (Ann Hathaway) said that she was invisible nobody saw her. It struck such a chord. That is how I was feeling. That expressed it. I was hopeless and also invisible. And feeling that way in my pain I was very selfish and withdrew within myself. I am so sorry that I caused any one worry. I really did not think that anyone read or cared about what I had written.

Lamictal has been added to my meds. My lid doctor told me she felt like I would just get feeling better and then crash again. She said that Lamictal was good for people that have persistand depression like me. I have no trouble controlling the mania. It is the depression that is really kicking my butt. I am doing much better only time will tell when I am on a high enough dose that the effexer and be stopped.

Two days before surgery I had knee surgery. It went really well. But on Christmas Eve, I started throwing up from the pain meds. I could not stop. It was really bad. So my husband and my daughter bundled me up and took me to the emergency room. When we got there there was police, security and TV crews. It seems that a surfer was bitten on the ankle and calf by a great white shark. They were working on what the later would be 70 stitches. I got a shot of phenargen and hurried home to the turkey dinner my husband bought and the neighbor that moved in we invited over as he was alone.

I am doing better everyday. I have been so tired from the surgery, but I have had almost no pain.

One highlight I called my daughter that said she didn't want any contact with our family especially me. She started to cry and said she had been an ass and she was to embarrassed to call and say she was sorry. So I am working on rebuilding that relationship. We have been of the phone about 15 hours since Christmas. That has helped to relieve much of the dark painful depression.

Thank you for your concern.
Kathy